True Love- hilarious

A boy and a girl were in love.

When the girl's father came to know
about their love, he did not like it at
all, and so began to protest about it.



Now it happened that the two lovers
decided to leave their homes for a happy
future.



The girl's father started searching for
the two lovers but could not find
them .



At last, he accepted their love and
asked them to come back home thru a



local newspaper. Her father said "If
you both come back I will allow you to marry the
guy you love, I accept that you loved
each other truly."





So in this way, their love won and they
returned home.



The couple next day went to town to shop
for the wedding dress. He was dressed
in a white shirt that day. While he was
crossing the road to the other side to
get some drinks for his wife, a car
came and hit him and he died on the spot..



The girl was devastated and lost her
senses. It was only after sometime that
she recovered from her shock.



The funeral and cremation was the very
next day because he had died horribly.



Two nights later, the girl's mother had
a dream in which she saw an old lady.
The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood
stains of the guy from her daughter's
dress as soon as possible. But her
mother ignored the dream.





The next night her father had the same
dream , he also ignored it. Then the
girl had the same dream the next night, she
woke up in fear and told her mother
about the dream. Her mother asked her
to wash the clothes with the blood
stains

immediately.







She washed the stains but some remained.
Next night she again had the same
dream. She again washed the stains but some
still remained. But again the next
night she had the same dream and this
time the old lady gave her a last
warning to wash the blood stain, or
else something terrible would happen.



This time the girl tried her best to
wash the stains, and the clothes
nearly tore, but some stains still remained.

She was very tired.







In the late evening the same day while
she was alone at home, someone knocked
on the door. When she opened the door
she saw the same old lady of her dream
standing at her door. She got very
scared and fainted.







The old lady woke her up... and gave her
a blue object, which shocked the girl.

She asked "What is this...?" The old
lady replied...

...

... .

...

...

...

...

...









"This is Nirma Washing Powder"



"Washing powder nirma,Washing powder
nirma



Doodh si safedi nirma se aaye,



Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaye,



sabki pasand nirma



Washing powder nirma,Washing powder
nirma.Nirma"



10 ka 1, do pe ek free











I know how you all are feeling now...



I have been through this too.



I'm also hunting for the idiot who mailed this to me

keep smiling !!!!!!

THE “PHOOK” THEORY

THE “PHOOK” THEORY

Surjit

The literal meaning of the Punjabi word, ‘phook’ is air pressure. Metaphorically, it is used to describe an ego-state. Thus, if someone is hogging a lot of ‘phook’, he is ‘gassed’ or brash.

The year, 1988. Location : No 3 Base Repair Depot (BRD),IAF, Chandigarh

The little man who sat as the Air Officer Commanding (AOC) of the BRD was my brother. Our father found him bone lazy, incapable doing any strenuous work. But I suspect he was clever. The Air Force chose to overlook his sloth and let him rise. Now, having completed his course at the National Defense College, it was clear that he was going places. I had gone to the BRD to learn the rudiments of command.

As I entered, the two officers who were sitting in the office took leave of him. He sat there, completely relaxed. There was no paper in the two trays marked “IN” and: OUT” The customary “Pending” bin was conspicuous by its absence. The walls of the large office were bare. No bar charts, no performance curves. On the table, there was a small hand written paper, which my brother permitted me to see. It said,

“I hate work. Even if some one else does it”.

It was clear as crystal that my dear brother had not changed. I asked him how he managed such a large outfit. And he said, “Come, I will show you” And we set off for a ‘darshan’ of the unit. Wherever we went, people rushed to greet him. He had a word or two to say to every one. In most cases, he let his officers speak. He would then say just a sentence or two, and then move on. But I noticed that his tone was different each time. At one workstation, we saw a tall officer, who had a lot of charts and diagrams, and he gave us a detailed account of his achievements. The curve showed that the output of his shop had tripled since he took over. He was keen to give a lecture to the other officers of the BRD on the management techniques he had employed to achieve those results. My brother gave a cold look to him and said, “Yes. You can do that. But first you must improve the quality of your stuff. That gyro-stabilizer which failed in the flight test last month was overhauled here. Right? If the pilot was not alert, you would have his blood on your hands!”

Jesus! That six foot tall engineer suddenly looked like a pygmy, and his rose colored cheeks turned yellow, drained of blood, in less than a second!

We next went to another shop. The officer in-charge greeted us. But while he was speaking, my brother’s eyes were elsewhere. He noticed that a junior officer had hidden himself behind a chopper. As soon as the briefing was over, he went that way, and called that man out. He gave the meek man a light hug and asked about his ailing wife. The poor soul, who was obviously commissioned from the ranks mumbled something about the shortfall in his production, but the AOC was not interested in those details... The boss told him that he was one of the best officers in the unit and ended by saying, “I saw your son playing basket ball yesterday. I think he has a lot of potential” When we left, he clicked his heels and produced one of the smartest salutes I have ever seen.

All through the visit, I observed that my brother was less interested in technology and ‘output’ and more concerned about the officers and technicians he met. He knew an amazing number of names, and seemed to know all about their specific hopes and aspirations.

When we returned, I asked him what his job, as the Commander. He thought for a while and then he shared his “Phook Theory” with me. It was like Socrates talking to Plato and I find it more appropriate to recount the dialog verbatim. He taught by asking questions, and I sat like a little child answering as best as I could.

*

“When you are driving a vehicle, what happens if the tire pressure is low?”

“The acceleration drops, steering becomes hard and the fuel consumption goes up”

“Right. You must inflate the wheels. Now what happens if the pressure is too high?”

“The ride becomes bumpy, steering wobbles and an odd tire may burst”

“Correct. You must immediately pull up to a service station and do the needful”

After a sip of the juice which had arrived, he said, “This unit is like a vehicle. I am on the driver’s seat. These officers are the ‘wheels’ of the vehicle. I have only two jobs, one to steer in the correct direction and two, to ensure that the ‘phook’ level of all my officers is correct, always and every time. So when I see some one down and out, I boost his spirit and if I find some one bumpy, I …” And to show what he did, he filled air in his cheeks and made a hissing sound, ‘Phusshh…’

Through my mind’s eye, I saw that meek officer hiding behind a chopper get a hug and a tall management ‘guru’ cut to size. Like a little child, I asked him, “But, pray, how do you find whom to pump and whom to deflate?”

“Ah, well! That is what management is all about!” There was another pause, but after that, he became serious. He gave me the most profound lesson of that morning, “That is not difficult. One learns it through experience. The tough part is to keep my own ‘phook’ at the right level. I must not lose my equanimity, no matter what happens. And that is not always easy”

Just when I thought the lesson was over, he asked, “what is more important, technology or people?”

I looked askance, and said, “You tell?”

His answer was unusual. He said, “Technology is for the middle level officers. At my level, it is my colleagues.”

His parting words to me were the most profound. He said,

“Management is all about people. If you do not like people, do not manage. Engineering has many branches, mechanical, electronics, chemical, aerospace and so on, but the one which is needed for my job is different. It is called, Human Engineering”

*

Armed with the ‘phook theory’ I assumed command of the famous ‘Five-O-Nine’ Army Base Workshop in Agra, in 1989. And immediately, I discovered the problem associated with maintaining my own phook in check. The star plate on the car; the traffic coming to a halt to let my car go; a reception at the Agra Club followed by a function organized at Hotel Clark Shiraz by a citizen’s forum to welcome me had a way of making me to believe that I had ‘arrived’. Some sycophants went on to say that no other commandant had been received that way; and that my posting was an event to remember for the land of the Taj Mahal. It needed a great deal of deliberate effort to keep my feet on the ground, The phook theory helped. I jotted it down and kept it on my table, as a guide. I also applied its tenets to my command, and believe you me, it worked!

Encouraged by the results, I shared this management philosophy with my friends The feedback which I received was positive, and so I began to believe that between me and my brother, we had discovered a new management ‘mantra’

And then one day, the sky burst and the earth began to rumble.. A very dear friend who had taken these dictums as gospel truth, rang up to say that the theory had failed completely. He said he was in sh**. My enquiries revealed that there was a near mutiny in his unit. I requested a colleague to tell me as many details as he could get and then I sent the case study to the author of the theory for advice.

My dear brother took less than five minutes to respond. In a tersely worded note he wrote,

“Tell your friend to check his pressure gauge. He seems to be deflating people who have nothing left in their lungs and pumping those who were already on the verge of bursting!”

Morning Motivation

When I woke up this morning lying in bed, I was asking myself;

What are some of the secrets of success in life?

I found the answer right there, in my very room.

Carry a Heart that Never Hates.

Carry a Smile that Never Fades.

Carry a Touch that Never Hurts.

HAVE A PURPOSEFUL DAY!

When trapped on a lift

What to do when you are trapped in a lift?

We never know when and where accidents will happen to us OR people
around us.
Read on and hope this piece of information may help any of us when
things do happen to our self, our friends and our loved ones.

One day, while in a lift, it suddenly broke down and it was falling from
level 13 at a fast speed.
Fortunately, I remembered watching a TV program that taught you must
quickly press all the buttons for all the levels. Finally, the lift
stopped at the 5th level.

When you are facing life and death situations, whatever decisions or
actions you make decides your survival.
If you are caught in a lift breakdown, first thought in mind may be
'waiting to die'...

But after reading below, things will definitely be different the next
time you are caught in a lift.

First - Quickly press all the different levels of buttons in the
lift.

Second - Hold on tight to the handle (if there is any).

Third - Lean your back and head against the wall forming a straight
line.

Fourth - Bend your knees
Reason - When the lift falls, you will not know when it will hit the
ground, and it may result in whole body bone fracture.

Point 1 - When the emergency electricity supply is being activated, it
will stop the lift from falling further.

Point 2 - It is to support your position and prevent you from falling or
getting hurt when you lost your balance.

Point 3 - Leaning against the wall is to use it as a support for your
back/spine as protection.

Point 4 - Ligament is a flexible, connective tissue. It can be attached
to the bone part of the activities, but limit the scope of their
activities in order to avoid injury.
Thus, the impact of fractured bones will be minimized from the severe
pressure during fall.